Dog Tongue: What Should Cats Do

Sep 222014

Many people exhibit an adverse reaction when the damp and slimy tongue of a canine gropes their face. A multitude of cats share a mutual contempt for this distasteful practice. Consequently, these cats safeguard their sanity by adopting at least one preservation technique to ward off this invasion of their privacy.

The three felines of our household are hounded by a wet encounter of this sort on quite a regular basis. Accordingly, each has developed a personal means to cope with this unpleasant aspect of their existence. However, it is unfortunate that each of these tactics is not equally effective as a deterrent for this display of canine affection.

Millicent is a gray and white cat with a medium sized frame. She is timid by nature. As a result of her personality, she always retreats in haste at the first sign that the household dog is at hand. Her method is the least theatrical of the three modules, but reliably serves its intended purpose and requires little effort.

Angela is a brown tabby cat. She has a chin that can be protracted into a fierce grimace. Though her proportions resemble an over indulged rat, she possesses an arrogant spirit that by far exceeds her physical stature. Therefore, when her face is applied with this moist stimulus, without the slightest hesitation, she rebukes her violator with a stern gesture of disapproval. However, this particular version of man’s best friend never acknowledges her sentiments. In a matter of moments, the two domesticated animals wage a physical confrontation to determine if, in fact, Angela’s face is to be further bathed in a pool of saliva.

Luckily, for Angela, she is nimble with her paws and is subsequently able to unleash a severe spanking upon the rubbery nasal cavity of her rival. The dog befuddled with embarrassment, refuses to yield and throw in his collar. Despite the dog’s persistence in staking his claim, Angela simply composes a new and striking melody upon her foe’s already bruised snout. Before the canine can position itself for a counter attack, she unexpectedly darts off and all that remains is a dog with his tail wagging foolishly.

Horatio is an enormous black and white cat most who recently tipped the scale at seventeen pounds. He is the product of habitual slothfulness, with concerns primarily centered on dining and using his litter box. Consequently his method, for resolving this interference in his life, is by far the least resourceful. Horatio lazily opts to roll over on to his back whenever he feels the dog’s damp dagger penetrate his muzzle. Pathetically, he attempts to use his paws to hug the dog’s elongated nose that is serving as a facial battering ram. However, his strength is just not adequate in his under developed muscles to prevent the dog’s slithery tongue from executing its intended mission. Ultimately, at the conclusion of this ordeal, Horatio emerges flustered, with spit in his eye and an expression that sparkles like the morning dew. It is sad that each of these three cats is forever linked to their brethren by a loathing for this vulgar activity of the taste buds. However, it is clear that a feline’s success in confronting its harasser is derived from a personal sense of identity. Millicent and Angela, though opposites by nature, demonstrate the resolve necessary to prevent this sort of indignation from occurring. Unfortunately, Horatio typifies those cats who are predisposed to undergo momentary lapses of dignity.

Originally published on Associated Content / Yahoo Contributor Network (YCN) on March 31, 2009

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