I recall that when I decided that I would like to own a Black and Tan Coonhound, I gazed into the future and saw a man and his coonhound, bonded together out of a shared love for hunting raccoon. In my enchantment, I never really calculated the full impact that my utter lack of hunting skills or knowledge would have on my ability to bring this dream to fruition.

I did know how to hunt subjects on the internet. Therefore, I searched high and low for internet sites that explained the art of coon hunting. I leaned that the most proficient means to train a coonhound to hunt raccoon was to have the hound hunt initially with another hound or hounds that had a true knowledge of the sport of coon hunting. The theory went as follows: The inexperienced dog would trail along with the experienced hunting dogs in search of a raccoon scent. When the hounds picked up the scent of a raccoon they would trail the coon with the rookie hound running alongside them sniffing excitedly. The preferred outcome was that the hounds, both the experienced and the novice, would tree the raccoon and then stand at the base of the tree. They were supposed to bay until the hunter would come and shoot the coon out of the tree. This sounded terrific in theory, but unfortunately in my neck of the woods there were no other coonhounds to be found. Roy was a novelty where I lived. People always stopped and asked if he was a mix between a Doberman Pinscher and a Rottweiler.

As I continued my research into the art of training a coonhound to hunt coon, I uncovered another method of instruction. This method called for the capturing of a live raccoon and keeping him in some type of crate or barrel. Once the raccoon was captured and confined, you were to introduce the coonhound to the coon. This would allow the coonhound to familiarize itself with the smell of a raccoon. You then could pull the barrel or crate across a field, hide it and have the coonhound use his nose to pick up the scent of the coon and ultimately use its nose to hone in on the prize. This method also advocated at some point the freeing of the raccoon in the vicinity of the coonhound. This would allow the coonhound the opportunity to square off with a live coon. Raccoons can be big. They can also be especially nasty and vicious, especially when they feel threatened. Their teeth are sharp and their claws are sharper yet and extremely long. As it was explained to me, a coonhound particularly a novice coonhound would have a tough task taking on and defeating a raccoon in one on one scrum. However, the supposed purpose of this drill was to instill within the novice coonhound a severe hatred for raccoons that would drive his instinct to successfully hunt coons in the future. In theory this made sense, but similar to my lack of hunting skills and knowledge I also lacked the brain power to capture a live raccoon. Therefore, I was unable to execute this plan.

However, I am a gamer and do not give up easily. In my studies, I learned of a third option. This option called for obtaining a raccoon hide and using it in much the same manner as using the live coon in the barrel or cage. Surely, I could do this. My opportunity came sooner then I had expected. One morning while driving to work, I came across a large raccoon carcass that was fresh road kill. I pulled my car along side of the raccoon and with a newspaper picked up the dead raccoon by the tail and put it into the trunk of my car. I merrily continued on my way to work without incident. I put in an honest day of work; taking periodic mental breaks to think about how I was going go home and skin the coon, so that I had would have a fresh raccoon hide to train Roy. When the workday was over, I went to my car, opened the door and sat down. I was soon overwhelmed with the most noxious stench that a human being could ever imagine. It was absolutely horrible. I jumped out of my car and opened the trunk, thinking I would be able to remove the raccoon. Unfortunately, the carcass had begun to decompose and my trunk was full of maggots. I had no gloves or protective gear. Therefore my only choice was to get back in the car, roll down all the windows and just grin and bare it as I drove home. Even though I employed these strategies, the foul stench permeated every inch of the vehicle and it reeked beyond belief. Finally, I arrived home. I soon discovered that by this time there was not enough of the raccoon to skin in order to obtain a workable hide. It was basically all maggots, a bit of fur and a lot of mush. I put on some gloves and put what was left of this raccoon carcass in a plastic bag. I figured I would get one training session out of it. I dragged the plastic bag with the raccoon carcass in it around the yard and then hid it up in a tree. I then let Roy out. Instinctively, in an instant he was on the trail and he followed it without deviation right up to the tree. I was impressed.

Unfortunately, at the end of our training session, I still had a raccoon carcass to deal with. I thought about placing the garbage bag in one of our garbage cans. However, our trash collection day was still several days away. There was no way I would expose our garage and quite possibly our house to the same type of odor that was sealed in my car. Without really knowing where my ultimate destination would be, I loaded the garbage bag with the raccoon carcass still in it back into my car. After driving a bit, I noticed a big dumpster alongside a strip mall. Aha, I thought. What a perfect place to dispose of my raccoon problem. I drove alongside the dumpster, took the garbage bag out and with one big heave tossed the bag into the dumpster. Within a few minutes though, I felt disappointed in my behavior. Soon I was dumpster diving in an effort to retrieve my treasure. Sadly, I was successful. The raccoon carcass was back in my possession.

Again, I wondered what I would do with this garbage bag with a foul smelling and decomposing raccoon carcass. It was than that I thought that this would be the perfect time for a quick car wash. Mind you, I was not searching for a full service car wash. I just needed the kind of car wash where you are allowed to pull up, vacuum your vehicle and toss out your trash in one of the garbage cans that are provided. Well I stopped at the first such available car washing operation. I eagerly dropped four quarters into the machine and the vacuum cleaner fired up. I then gave my car a thorough vacuuming. I then gathered the trash that was in my vehicle, which included my garbage bag with raccoon carcass and placed the contents in the garbage can that was available. I drove off a happier man. I still had a large job ahead of me in terms of decontaminating my vehicle of leftover maggots. Further, it did take quite some time for the aroma of death to fully dissipate. Thankfully, it did.

I have often wondered what happened the following day when some poor chap came to work and was commanded to empty the garbage cans. I have never quit wondering what that person’s expression and reaction was when they came to empty the can that had the raccoon carcass in it. Likewise, I’m sure that person probably has not quit wondering who the person was that dumped a dead raccoon in the car wash garbage can. In any event, to me it remains one of my best uses of a dollar that I have ever had. Needless to say, this series of events brought to a close any notion that I was on the fast track to fame and fortune in the business of training a coonhound to hunt raccoon.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Originally published on Associated Content / Yahoo Contributor Network (YCN) on March 26, 2009

© Copyright, Han Van Meegerin – All Rights Reserved

See Viking’s comment on that posting. He sure took me to task. Touche Viking.

Viking 12/3/2012: “Sir,you are an Idiot!!! You don’t deserve to own a Coonhound! Your dog is waaaay smarter than you are! Not only did you make really stupid mistakes with your training, (putting a dead Raccoon in your trunk without properly bagging it) but you will probably make really stupid mistakes with your gun.I PRAY you are not hunting anywhere near where I live…. #$%$!!”